A Good, Long Life
by Evelyn McKae
Summary: Nora had come to realize that she would do things almost exactly the same given the chance. You realize this as you get older. PaulOC, character death.


**I don't own Twilight. Don't want to. WARNING: Character death... Also, this story's a little strange...just warning you....**

A Good, Long Life

Nora Jean had lived a good, long life. Over the years, she had come to realize that the things she did as a youth were probably not the best choices she could have made. But she had also come to realize that she would do things almost exactly the same given the chance. You realize this as you get older.

One of the things she wished had never happened, well, she's never really come to grips with it. It haunts her still, in her dreams, and in her moments of solitude. In those times where all she wants to do is lay back peacefully and doze, the memories come tearing through, refusing to leave. When Nora was younger, she would sometimes go into a coma-like state when the memories surfaced. The only person who could rouse her—

Well. That's another thing she regrets.

Paul.

That no good son of a bitch.

Well, maybe he wasn't as bad as all that, but maybe he was, and her mind was just playing tricks on her. She isn't entirely sure what to think anymore. She just remembers that night so long ago…that night when everything changed…the world, the village…herself….

.::.

"PAUL. PAUL, GET YOUR SORRY ASS BACK HERE!" Nora screamed, crashing through the woods. These many years ago, Nora was, she realized now, very pretty. Not a knockout beauty, but really when you get down to the skin of anyone, who is? She had tan skin, and black hair. Eyes the color of dark chocolate imported from Italy. Her grandchildren said she looked like Pocahontas, from the Disney movie. Nora disagreed silently.

"Paul!" she screamed again, glancing around the trees. "Paul! Look, I'm sorry! Just—you gotta hear me out! PAUL!"

The only thing she heard was the soft chittering of birds in their nest. The woods were quiet otherwise. It was dusk. Time for everything to sleep. Nora sighed angrily and turned her back on the woods. Who does he think he is, anyways? Can't take a single critical comment when he hands them out by the dozens. Stupid prick—

A couple branches cracked as they broke, about ten feet to Nora's left. She stopped fuming and stared into the darkening forest. Goosebumps cascaded down her arms and back, climbed up her neck. Nora glanced quickly for a branch to use as a weapon, in case it was a mountain lion…or bear…or wolf. She had never really felt a connection with wolves in the stories told around bonfires, unlike most of her peers. Mostly, they scared her.

A couple more branches broke, this time on Nora's right. Her head swung around, as she desperately tried to see into the trees. By now, she could hardly see the closest tree five feet away. Nora's heart leaped to her throat as she heard the rasping breath of an injured animal—

.::.

…Nora Jean felt the scars on her arms…the phantom pain came as soon as the fingertips touched…but she refused to ignore it this time. She needed to come to terms. She realized this. In order to move on to whatever was waiting on the other side, these memories had to come about for one last time…

.::.

—Nora threw her arm in front of her face, screaming as the animal launched itself at her. The feeling of ripped flesh and bleeding limbs pulsed through her body. How could such a pain exist?! Nora fell to the ground as the animal—or its companion; she wasn't quite sure—came around for another bite. It clamped down on her left calf, ripping her muscle. The warmth of blood flowed down her ankle as Nora collapsed to the ground. The pain before was nothing to what was happening now…how could that have been pain at all compared to this? Nora was vaguely aware of another, new sound surrounding her small space within the trees. She opened her eyes as best as she could through the pain. What she saw wasn't real. It couldn't be. She had to be hallucinating because of blood loss. She would die, and the last thing she saw would be this hallucination. She would rather see her family. Her mother, father, brothers, even her annoying little sister. She would rather see the boy she wanted to spend the rest of her life with…

Paul—

.::.

…Nora's heart did a funny dance inside her chest. Her hand flew to her chest, massaging, as if that would help the pain go away. But this new pain was simply added on top of the pains she had lived with since she was twenty years old. Since the night she watched her first love die in an effort to save her…

.::.

—he was fighting off the animals…with his bare hands…how could that even be possible?

"Paul," Nora grunted despite herself. She hadn't wanted to acknowledge the hallucination, but this was a bit of comfort. She wondered to herself about the human mind, and how mysterious it truly was.

Fake-Paul had managed to scare the animals away, though Nora wasn't sure how. She wasn't sure she wanted to know, either.

"C'mon, Nor, you gotta focus. Look at me. C'mon, Nor," Fake-Paul whispered, cupping Nora's head in his hands. His hands felt strangely real…she wasn't sure if hallucinations extended to actually feeling what was happening… "Fuck. Okay, listen Nor, I'm gonna carry you, okay? Don't freak out now. I'm gonna get you to a hospital, I swear…Fuck. Fuck!"

Nora's head lolled as she somehow climbed onto the back of a huge wolf. She held on as tight as she could, though it really wasn't much better than simply laying on his back. She was aware how warm he was…it was almost like she really was holding onto Paul again…it was the same strangely hot temperature he always gave off.

"Paul…" she whispered. The giant wolf made a strangled growl as he ran faster, as if in response. Nora was hardly aware of the headlights of cars that swerved away from the giant wolf as he barreled down the highway. The screeches of brakes and metal on rock did nothing to Nora…she could only focus on her waning pain…and the warmth of this wolf…the one who so strangely resembled Paul.

They were running through the forest again, at a much faster pace than Nora would have thought possible. A large clearing emerged, with a house—mansion?—at the middle of it. Nora's sight swam, and suddenly she was on the ground again, her shoulder screaming in pain. Or maybe that was her. The only thing she knew for sure was that the giant wolf was suddenly laying ten feet away, being torn apart by more giant wolves.

"NOOOOOO!" she screamed, or she tried. Either way, she caught the attention of the new wolves, and they walked towards her. She turned her focus as best as she could to the original Paul-wolf. She felt tears prickling at her eyes, and soon, she began sobbing uncontrollably. "NO! PAUL! GODDAMMIT, PAUL! DAMMIT! Dammit…"

Nora woke in a clean white room, hooked up to an IV with stitches in both arms, leg, and pretty much immobile. Groggy though she was, Nora managed to make out the shape of a person sitting at her side.

"Paul?" she asked, hoping against hope.

"Uh, no." Nora recognized the voice.

"Jake."

"Yeah."

"What happened?" Nora asked, her eyes adjusting slowly. "Where's Paul?"

"Um," Jake said, twisting his hands together. "Listen, Nora. What happened last night…was an accident. We thought he was part of an invading pack because he didn't respond to our questions."

Nora shook her head. "You mean that wasn't a hallucination? You're trying to tell me that you were one of those wolves out there?"

"Yes. Paul didn't tell you about that?"

"No. He was a wolf too? That means that he…oh shit. Oh, shit. Shit!!" Nora screamed, tears falling down her cheeks. "No…no, no, no. He can't…"

Jacob grabbed her hands and held them firmly. "Listen to me, Nora. He was worried, and that's why he wasn't answering. He was only thinking about how badly injured you were and how badly he needed to get you to help. He loved you. I know he did. That's why he wasn't answering us when we asked who he was. I'm so sorry, Nor. I'm so sorry."

.::.

It would be another four months before Nora would be able to hear about the shape-shifting without bursting into hysterics. It would be another year before she would be able to look Jacob or Seth in the eyes without feeling a wave of hatred. And even then, she would still be unable to think kindly of them for another two years. At the time, she felt like her entire life was pulled away from her just when it was getting started. Paul had been planning to propose…they would be married in June, have three kids, and live on the reservation, close to both of their parents. It was going to be perfect.

Perfection never truly exists, though.

Nora leaned against the headboard she and her husband share. She had moved on, of course. Had learned to love again. But, she had to admit, she never loved her husband as much as she loved—still loves—Paul. And the pain from that night still lives on with her. Nora Jean sighed heavily, and realized that she was ready to see Paul again. She was ready to move on, and leave this scarred flesh behind her forever. Because she had lived a good, long life despite what had been thrown at her.

So, Nora Jean closed her eyes, and took a deep breath.


End file.
